"Grandma...Can We Have A Sleepover?"

When you find out you are having a baby it is a surreal feeling. When you find out that you are having two at the same time it is even more surreal!! We found out, like most parents, at our 12 week scan and once we had told our family and close friends we announced it to the world via Facebook. We received mainly positive reactions from everybody as most people would write comments like:

"That is amazing news" or

"Congratulations. So happy for you both" or

"Double the babies means double the love"

And so on. But there were the odd comments we received that I chose to ignore at first but I didn't forget them and they pondered in my mind for months on end. They were the comments like:

"Say goodbye to ever sleeping again" and

"Prepare to never have any money for the rest of your life. Babies are expensive and two at once is even more expensive" and

"My friend has twins and he had a nervous breakdown when they were 3 months old and has never been the same since"

So, as much as I was really excited at the idea of becoming a dad, especially to twins, I was also really terrified that it was going to destroy our lives and that we would really struggle financially, emotionally and mentally. However, it turned out that we had nothing to worry about. We were extremely lucky with our twins as we had two babies who were happy, who weren't fussy with their milk or food, they rarely had any illnesses and, most importantly, from about 10 weeks old they slept through the night without needing a middle of the night feed. Kate and I put this down to a number of things:

1) We took a laid back approach to parenting - we didn't have time to be uptight
2) We took everything in our stride and we learnt OUR WAY of doing things
3) We established routine right from the start
4) We worked well as a team and we had our "jobs" that allowed bringing up two babies at once to run like clockwork and, most importantly...
5) We had, and still have, both sets of our parents to help us

The 5th point is the main purpose of this post - our parents. I know we are really lucky to have two sets of grandparents for our kids who are still together and who are still around as a lot of people don't have that luxury. I, for one, never met my Grandad from my Dad's side as he passed away a year or so before I was born and, likewise, Kate's Grandma from her Mam's side passed away years before Kate was born. Our parents are our saviours and I honestly do not know what we would do without them. Not only do they help us in any way possible but they are also a huge influence on the twins and play a massive part in their lives and they have done since day one.

Halloween at The Manor with their little cousin Ellie

You know when you find out you are having a baby and everyone is keen to give you their advice on what you should and shouldn't do? I am sure you all remember receiving so much advice that eventually you just switched off and forgot it all. Personally, I am not a huge fan of giving advice to new parents and whenever I find out that a friend or a colleague or someone I know is having a baby I tend to not pass on my advice but just tell them "you'll figure it out as you go". One thing, however, that I do advise on though is to take advantage of anybody willing to have your kids - especially if it is overnight.

DISCLAIMER: When I say "anybody" I obviously mean people you know and trust like your parents or your Aunty Mary. I don't mean "Creepy Bob" from down the pub or your half cousin's weird friend who is affectionately known as "Loopy Lisa". I definitely don't mean that neighbour who you quite often see passed out in the front lawn surround by empty bottles of Lambrini....although I wouldn't judge you if you joined them! 

The twins had their first sleepover when they were just 2 weeks old. Yes - 2 whole weeks old when we had our first night off. I know parents who have teenagers who have never had a night off and I don't know how the hell they did it. We were pretty much told before they were born that they would be staying overnight at Kate's parents when they were 2 weeks old so that we could go out. Her parents even organised for our friends to take us out for dinner and for some drinks so that we had a reason for a night off. I won't lie, we were really apprehensive about it but we went with it and I can honestly say it is the best thing we ever did! We went out and we had dinner with our friends and we had a couple of beers and we were back home and in bed by 9pm. Rock and Roll! We slept for 12 solid hours until 9am the next day and we enjoyed every second of it. So much so that we arranged for my parents to have them overnight 2 weeks later when they were just 4 weeks old.

Now, at the age of 6, I don't think we ever see our kids on the weekend as they are either staying with my parents or staying with Kate's parents. Sometimes Kate's parents take them to The Manor and when that happens we don't see them from 4pm on a Friday until about 5pm on a Sunday! It is pure bliss! We don't even have to book them in now as the twins will just ask. Quite often we will go and see my parents on a Saturday afternoon just for a visit and we end up leaving without them as they say the 6 words I love to hear..."Grandma...Can we have a sleepover?". They are always told they can and before you know it we are in the car, back home to drop the car off, freshened up and in the pub holding a pint and making the most of having no kids for the night and being able to drink at 3pm without being judged!

Playing in my parent's garden - I am sure this afternoon resulted in a sleepover

So, yeah, our parents are amazing and we are extremely lucky that we have them in our lives and that the twins have them too. Writing this post has really made me reflect on how much they have been involved and how much of a Godsend they really have been to the point where I think we might have to arrange taking them out for dinner to say "Thank You". If you have kids, or are having kids, and you are lucky enough to have all or some of your parents around then really do make the most of them. It is great for the kids and it is even more great for your parents as it helps to keep them active, keep their brains active and it keeps them young. It is also really beneficial for you so you can have some down time and so you can spend some quality time with your other half. However, don't expect to be out clubbing until 4am and be drunk as a skunk from cheap, nasty cocktails then stumble home with a kebab pizza in your hand then sleep until 2pm. If you do go out you will probably be home at 10pm slightly tipsy and fall asleep with the intention of an amazing lie in but still be up at 7am because your body clock doesn't know that you want a lie in! Stupid bloody body clock!

Please, if you can, involve your parents in the lives of your children. You won't regret it, your parents will love you for it and your kids will love you for it too.

Grandparents Rule! Fact!

And on that note I will sign off.

Until next time

The Twiglet's Dad